Scientists Create Artificial Lips

Genetic engineers have nearly perfected growing lips on plants.








How is that for lip service?

We understand they are now working on growing ears on stocks of corn.

Obama Uses New Stealth Golf Cart

Obama, shown below, steps into the latest US technology on his summer vacation.


The $90 million prototype features a 4 foot high translucent screen that surrounds the cart which is equipped with a silent electric motor.  Many tiny cameras, strategically placed around the cart, project the scenery to the opposite side to make the cart invisible.

Press Secretary, Jay Carney, said, “The stealth features of the cart and its mobility are better than a Harry Potter invisibility cloak.”

The President was enjoying his vacation and the new invention until a golfer did not see the cart and blasted a tee shot into one of the screens.  That prompted Obama to quip, “We’ll have to work on bullet proof screens next.”  The President’s comment resulted in a 10% jump in the futures price of bullet proof commodities.

Rumors are circling that Halliburton wants to purchase 100 of the stealth carts for their petroleum engineers in Iraq even though nobody has seen a petroleum engineer in Iraq in 3 years.

Engineers Make Lousy Husbands

An engineer is trained to think about all the possibilities for a system problem.  Whether it is a hardware or software system, all the reasons for a hiccup or failure must be identified in order to resolve the problem.  This results in several hypotheses and explanations.


While engineers may be great problem solvers, they fail to get a grip on how to communicate.

When an engineer tackles one of life’s problems, many possible solutions are examined.  Like which do you do first – pay the bills, buy groceries or fix the garden?  And in what order do you perform the rest of these tasks?  An engineer would give several action plans and reasons for each.

But a wife thinks a lot differently than an engineer.  In fact a woman will want one and only one answer to a question or issue or she will begin to distrust the husband.

So try to imagine being an engineer AND a husband.  What a conundrum.

She gets upset when he gives her more than one answer and then he gets frustrated when he realizes he should have stuck with the first answer.  Talk about being up the creek without a paddle.  Oy vey!