#ImThePosterChildFor Accidents

When you just gotta admit you are accident-prone.

panda_fall

Select your favorite caption for this photo.

1.  I can’t wait to discover the world.

2.  I can’t wait for these reporters to stop talking.

3.  I am hungry.  Where can I get a burger around here?

4.  Crap, I think I may have just gotten a black eye.

Enjoy!

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October Caption Contest

Here is my entry to the USA Today Opinion Caption Contest for October 2013.

2013_oct_caption

If you like this, more captions can be found at

https://www.facebook.com/usatodayopinion .

Thanks.

New Obama Dollar Coin Announced

WASHINGTON D.C. – The Treasury Department announced today that they are pressing forward with the minting of a new dollar coin with the silhouette of President Barack Obama.

orange_obama_coinThe President was “thrilled” to hear about the new coin, a White House source confirmed.  He had been “totally furious” that he had spent time the precious week posing for a trillion-dollar platinum coin that would never be minted. See http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/01/obama-furious-he-wasted-week-posing-for-coin.html

Treasury officials reversed course and decided to commemorate the historical second inauguration.  They will be using funds budgeted before sequestration.

After the overwhelming success of adding color to paper money, the Treasury Department decided to start coloring coins as well.  When asked why the color orange was chosen, Robert Steel of the Treasury Department replied, “The coin is only 10 percent silver and 20 percent nickel so it does not really matter.”

Mr. Steel also announced that the coin would be available in 60 days assuming it passes testing to see if any teeth marks could be detected.

Both Treasury and White House officials collaborated on the coin’s design.  In acknowledgement of all the various religions found in the U.S., the coin will not have the words “In God We Trust.”

The coin fiasco behind him, Mr. Obama has now apparently turned his attention to balancing the budget within the next 100 years.