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About Michael E Kelley

Software geek, speaker, humorist, consultant, writer and futurist.

#Revenge Knows No #Religion Even In #Syria

People that are so angry that they seek revenge are in a hate zone.

vader

REVENGE

Examples of haters that sought revenge include Adolf Hitler and Star Wars’ Darth Vader both of whom sought to eliminate an entire race and were not religious.

But why do so many terrorists seek revenge and appear to have religion?

RELIGION

First the religion part of the question.  Muslims will admit that the terrorists say they have a religion but in fact the beliefs of terrorists do not resemble Islam.

Secondly many terrorists are from Syria or are Syrian supporters.  Why?

SYRIA AND WISCONSIN

Syria is about the size of Wisconsin.  Imagine the Governor of Wisconsin decided he did NOT want to step down and really wanted to keep his power.  First he started bombing his adversaries and then started bombing everyone.  Next he started using chemical weapons against his citizens.  Finally outside parties started bombing its citizens.  What do you think the people in Wisconsin would do?

Wisconsinites would migrate to another state.  That is exactly what is happening with Syrians in Europe.

Meanwhile a small percentage of Syrians decided to take revenge for the people that bombed their cities for several years and destroyed their lifestyle.  This could be people that supported President Bashar al-Assad or people that did not support him.

Thus you have terrorists trying to get revenge against several countries.

SOLUTION

So how do we solve this crisis?  We stop bombing Syria and start rebuilding it.  Shouldn’t there be money in the Defense budgets to fix returning soldiers as well as rebuild the cities we destroyed?  Some will say that is going too far.  But can we agree to at least stop the bombing?

Can I have an Amen, Ameen or Shalom?

 

#WeBelieveYou When You Say Try Then Buy

Customer satisfaction is of high importance.

try_buy

What is your favorite caption for this photo?

1.  Mardi gras is just around the corner.

2.  The African maker of this mask might have been a skinny guy.

3.  I wonder if the mask maker hoped his mask would be worth $500,000.

4.  The stick is another $10,000.

Enjoy!

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#WeBelieveYou When You Predict Robots Taking Over

Another career on the line!  Robot palm reader.

robot_fortune_teller

What is your favorite caption for this photo?

1.  Your palm says you will live long life and then die.

2.  Stop it!  Ticklish I am.

3.  You will have 3 <click> thousand <click> kids. Sorry. No thousand.

4.  Who does your nails?

Enjoy!

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#NationalSiblingDay for Twins

Can you tell which is the oldest twin?

twins

What is your favorite caption for this photo?

1.  I am the oldest so I get to eat first.

2.  But I ate last, last time.

3.  Oh yeah, well I can sing for my food.

4.  That is not fair. I am the dancer of the family and now I am stuck in this chair.

Enjoy!

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#FridayFeeling

Peek-a-boo!

peekaboo

What is your favorite caption for this photo?

1.  Some people can’t wait for the previous showing to end.

2.  Is the Queen in there?

3.  They never give you enough time for a decent theatre potty break.

4.  Holy crap!  Darth Vader is the father!

Enjoy!

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#Daughters Deemed Disorganized Deserve Discussion

Do you have a daughter whose bedroom floor is a mine field?

daughters_bedrom

Well, you are not alone.

My wife and I were fed up with stepping on toys and papers in our daughter’s bedroom.  We stood over her while she cleaned it up.

But a week or so later, we found her room in the same condition.  This time we warned our daughter that we were serious and the next time we would confiscate everything that we found on the floor.

Her behavior did not change.

So the third time came and my wife and I scooped up everything into a big box and put it in the master bedroom.

Our daughter let out the loudest and longest cry.  It was the biggest fake cry I have ever heard, even to this day.

For fear of losing all her stuff, she begged us to give it back.  She made a long list of promises.

A day later I walked her to her room and whispered that if she just pushed her things under the bed or into the closet, so they were out of sight, we would not have a problem.

When our daughter once again promised to keep her room clean, we gave her back the box of her belongings.  From that day forward, her room looked a lot better.  There was stuff under the bed and in the closet, but we could walk around the room without stepping on anything.

Everyone lived happily ever after.

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#MorningsWouldBeBetterIf There Was No Stress

Stress can really be a bummer.  Be glad that you are not this guy.

monks2

Pick your favorite caption for this Monk.

1.  I thought Monks only prayed all day.  Boy was I wrong.

2.  Are you sure these knives have not been sharpened in 5 years?

3.  Next time I will wear a shirt.

4.  Forget that.  Next time I will wear a Kevlar bullet-proof vest.

Enjoy!

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#WomenInTech Meets Sculpture

Communication is so important.

sculpture

What is the sculpture saying in this photo?

1.  Are you talkin’ to me?

2.  I don’t even know your name.

3.  You will have to get your own toga.  It’s cold in here.

4.  If you are trying to tickle me, it won’t work.

Enjoy!

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Flamingos Flee Friend

Ever feel left behind?

flamingos

Select your favorite caption for this photo.

1.  Hey, guys.  Was it something I said?

2.  Are we there yet?

3.  Do we have some time to stop for fast food?

4.  Can I get a break here?  A potty break?

Enjoy!

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#WednesdayWisdom Fashion Week

When you just gotta have the latest fashion.

stripes

Select your favorite text message.

1.  MOM:  You have exceeded your fashion budget.

2.  AMAZON:  Your Zebra has been backordered.  Thanks for shopping with us.

3.  BILL MURRAY: My Stripes movie was funnier.

4.  VOGUE: FLASH!  Stripes are out.  Plaids are in!

Enjoy!

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