#WeBelieveYou When You Predict Robots Taking Over

Another career on the line!  Robot palm reader.

robot_fortune_teller

What is your favorite caption for this photo?

1.  Your palm says you will live long life and then die.

2.  Stop it!  Ticklish I am.

3.  You will have 3 <click> thousand <click> kids. Sorry. No thousand.

4.  Who does your nails?

Enjoy!

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Ebola Humor – If Possible

Here is my latest USA Today Caption Contest entry.

2014_nov_caption

Thanks to Mike Smith, Las Vegas Sun, King Features.

Oh yeah, and to Ebola and to Hazmat suits.

When Kids Ask What GOP Stands For

I tell them it means “Government Obstructionist Party”.

GOP

They shutdown the government rather than pass a budget and raise the debt ceiling.

Consequently the economy lost $24 billion dollars for the quarter.

And the Congressional members did not lose a dime of income during this shutdown.

Here is a list of names of the 144 obstructionists that voted NO on the House of Representatives bill that raised the debt ceiling.  All of them are members of the GOP.

http://politics.nytimes.com/congress/votes/113/house/1/550

Here is a quote to think about.  “The extreme right has 90 seats in the House,” Mr. Echevarria, CEO of Deloitte, said. “Occupy Wall Street has no seats.”

Please make a note of these for the 2014 election so we can even the score.

Warning: Doing Something Too Long May Become Permanent

Or at least that is what my Mother told me.

malia_cross_eyed

Here Malia Obama learns what happens when you cross your eyes for too long.

It becomes permanent.

Notice the two kids in the bottom of the picture.  They freaked out when they looked into Malia’s eyes.  They will never be the same.

Snacks Are Good For Kids As Well As Parents

Okay.  I know what you are thinking.  What a stupid, ignorant thing to say.

I know some snacks are awful but read what I have to say.

popcorn

I was in my optometrist’s office the other day.  She comes in fretting about her kids saying, “I worry about them.”

I told her, “Kids are pretty resilient.  Let me make a suggestion which goes against all normal thinking.”

Now I have her attention.

“Snacks are a good thing.”

She looks at me funny.

“I know what you are thinking but if you buy good snacks, they will come.  What I mean is your kids will hang around your house and you will get to know their friends.  And if you know their friends, you will know what they are doing.  As opposed to them off with their friends and you not knowing what they are up to.  This makes for good kids.”

“Wow, that makes sense.” she replies.

“And you can buy 100% juice drinks, whole grain chips and carrots with ranch dressing.”

“Thanks.” she replies.

I hope to hear in a few years that it worked out for her.  And maybe she won’t have as many worry lines on her forehead as I do.

Airplanes Can Be Fun

Remember that flight where the kid behind you would never stop crying or kicked your seat?

Well here is an airplane story of a different color.

Tommy was well-behaved during the entire plane flight.  His parents kept him quiet with a handheld game player and a soda.  Passengers admired Tommy’s behavior.

But when it was time to leave, Tommy started shouting.

“I DON’T WANNA GO.  I GET FREE SODA HERE.  MY MOMMY MAKES ME DRINK GREEN STUFF AT HOME.”