Mustache Saves The Day

Does this scene look familiar?

( thanks to thecarconnection.com )

Well this happened to me this past weekend when my wife and I were on a California  freeway and I crossed the double yellow line to get into the carpool lane.

As many Californians know, there is a carpool entrance and exit every couple of miles.  It would be “too normal” to have one before each freeway exit and another one after each on-ramp.  In other words there are a lot fewer than is logically necessary.

The officer told me why I was pulled over.  He asked me where I was going.  I told him we were visiting my son and we didn’t drive this freeway very often.  I then added that I thought there were way too few carpool lane entrances.  He replied that he gets that all the time. After I gave him my registration and insurance card, he asked if my record was clean.  I replied, “Yes.”  Then he went to his car to confirm my record.

When he returned, he asked me an unusual question, “Are you a former fireman or policeman?”  I replied, “No.”  He then proceeded to let me off with a warning instead of the $389 traffic fine.

When we pulled away, I realized he thought I was a former fireman or policeman because of my mustache!

The moral of the story: the mustache saved the day!  Or maybe it was cause my wife winked at him.

( thanks to clker.com )

This Is Gonna Take A While – Amazing

Ever have one of those days when you have a lot of energy and then when you go to start the next task, you realize it won’t take a few minutes?  You know, more like a day or two?

maze

And worse yet, you can’t call for backup.

Sweat Equity

My wife spends the evening slaving over a hot stove to prepare a special chicken dish for a company potluck.

At the potluck, Jeff says, “This chicken dish is really good.  What is in it?”

I respond, “Sweat.”

To which Jeff responds, “Yummm.  Sweat.”

 

Redundant Fortune Cookies

Fortune cookies

Tom is having a nice lunch with his wife at a Chinese restaurant.  At the end of the meal, they receive the traditional fortune cookies for two.  Tom opens his cookie and reads the fortune.  He realizes it is very similar to two or three other fortune cookies he has had recently.  When the waiter comes by again, Tom asks, “If you receive the same fortune multiple times, does that mean it is more likely to come true?”

The waiter responds, “No, you eat lot of cookie.”

Three Envelopes

Stop me if you have heard this.

A newly hired manager moves into his new office and meets his predecessor on his last day.  The predecessor tells the new manager there are three envelopes in the drawer and he is to use one each time a crisis occurs.

3envelopes

Well several months pass before a crisis happens.  The manager goes to the drawer and gets the first envelope.  He opens it.  It says :”Blame the predecessor.” He does that and the crisis passes.

Several more months pass before another crisis happens.  The manager again goes to the drawer and gets the second envelope.  This time it says :Reorganize”.  So he does that and the crisis subsides.

Again several more months pass and a third crisis happens.  This time the manager goes to the drawer and knowing this is the last envelope, he hopes it contains the final solution he needs.

He opens the drawer and opens the last envelope.  The contents say “Create three envelopes”.

Why Dinosaurs Are Extinct

dinosaur

For centuries, humans have wondered why dinosaurs were extinct.

In the last century scientists correlated the date a meteor collided with Earth with the approximate date the extinction occurred.  They theorized that the Earth was covered with a thick dense cloud.

In the last several decades, archeologists have found evidence that the dinosaurs are actually descendants of birds.

I have a different theory that explains why dinosaurs are extinct.  Dinosaurs tasted like chicken.