#IWillBeOkayAsSoonAs I Eat

When you just gotta have something to eat.

monkey_ishara_kidkara_afp_getty_images

Select your favorite caption for this photo.

1.  I am sick of eating healthy.  Especially flowers.

2.  I can’t wait to eat your bananas.

3.  And don’t expect me to scratch your back in return.

4.  Crap, my hair is a mess.  I should have used conditioner.

Enjoy!

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Special thanks to Ishara Kidkara of AFP/Getty Images.

Twinkies Are The Ultimate Zombie

They’re ba-ack!

zombielovestwinkie

Production of Twinkies will resume July 2013.  Yippee!

They didn’t really have to come back to life so soon.  The last batch of 2012 Twinkies has a shelf life of 20 years.

Snacks Are Good For Kids As Well As Parents

Okay.  I know what you are thinking.  What a stupid, ignorant thing to say.

I know some snacks are awful but read what I have to say.

popcorn

I was in my optometrist’s office the other day.  She comes in fretting about her kids saying, “I worry about them.”

I told her, “Kids are pretty resilient.  Let me make a suggestion which goes against all normal thinking.”

Now I have her attention.

“Snacks are a good thing.”

She looks at me funny.

“I know what you are thinking but if you buy good snacks, they will come.  What I mean is your kids will hang around your house and you will get to know their friends.  And if you know their friends, you will know what they are doing.  As opposed to them off with their friends and you not knowing what they are up to.  This makes for good kids.”

“Wow, that makes sense.” she replies.

“And you can buy 100% juice drinks, whole grain chips and carrots with ranch dressing.”

“Thanks.” she replies.

I hope to hear in a few years that it worked out for her.  And maybe she won’t have as many worry lines on her forehead as I do.

Setting My Watch At Snack Time

I used to go to work and leave my watch at home.

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Recently one of our employees named Steve retired.  He was a fairly skinny guy. Boy did he have a busy schedule before he left us.

He had peanuts at 10 AM.  Then potato chips at 1 PM and finally an Ice Cream bar at 3 PM.  This was on top of his lunch at noon. 

He added credence to the idea that you will NOT gain weight if you eat a lot of small meals.

popcorn

A long time ago I worked on the West Coast Shuttle effort.  A lot of my time was spent in the same building with the Operations Maintenance Documentation (OMD) Group.  I liked to call it the OMG department because at exactly 2 PM one of the large data entry personnel would pop a bag of popcorn.  OMG!  The smell of popcorn would permeate the whole building.

My point is those snack times allowed me to either set my watch at 2 PM every day or just leave my watch at home.  But alas those were the good ole’ days.