Author Archives: Michael E Kelley

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About Michael E Kelley

Software geek, speaker, humorist, consultant, writer and futurist.

Ted Cruz “I Fought Science” Lyrics

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Sung to The Clash’s “I Fought The Law”.

ted_cruz

To sing along with the Karaoke version, click this link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIeUsJ1ejfU

 

Breakin’ bad in the Senate

I fought science and guess who won

I fought science and guess who won

I needed support ’cause I had none

I fought science and guess who won

I fought science and guess who won

 

We’ve had more CO2 in the past.

Guess my race is run

But when CO2 was high, dinos didn’t last.

I fought science and guess who won

I fought science and guess

 

Scientists got stuck in Antarctic ice.

I fought science and guess who won

I fought science and guess who won

But Antarctic ice differs from Arctic ice.

I fought science and guess who won

I fought science and guess who won

 

Scientists said sun rotated around earth.

Guess my race is run

They now use scientific method called proof.

I fought science and guess who won

I fought science and guess

 

I fought science and guess who won

I fought science and guess who won

I fought science and guess who won

 

I fought science and guess who won

I fought science and guess who won

I fought science and guess who won

I fought science and guess who won

I fought science and guess

 

 

Adapted from

I Fought The Law performed by The Crickets and by The Clash

Songwriter: SONNY CURTIS

I Fought The Law original lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

 

To witness the classic version by The Clash, click this link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR3XY6wfSBw

 

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Climate Change Contest – Pick Door #1 or Door #2

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Arnold Schwarzenegger posted a note on Facebook on Monday.

makeadeal

He made a very good point about climate change and renewable energy: It really doesn’t matter what you believe.  Here is what he said.

There are two doors. Behind Door Number One is a completely sealed room, with a regular, gasoline-fueled car. Behind Door Number Two is an identical, completely sealed room, with an electric car. Both engines are running full blast.

I want you to pick a door to open, and enter the room and shut the door behind you. You have to stay in the room you choose for one hour. You cannot turn off the engine. You do not get a gas mask.

I’m guessing you chose the Door Number Two, with the electric car, right? Door number one is a fatal choice – who would ever want to breathe those fumes?

It’s a strong point, but even more importantly, it’s a bipartisan point.

Here is the real deal.  You pick a door and we agree to never argue about climate change again. Agreed?

Enter your email address and click the Follow button to get future posts.

[Thanks to ThinkProgress.org and to Arnold.]

Santa Can Scuba Dive

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The jolly ol’ man is everywhere this time of year.

santa_and_stingray

Select your favorite caption for this photo.

1.  Do you ever feel like someone is watching you?

2. I hope these fish like their Bright Eyes pets.  They can help them see in the dark.

3. Maybe the radio stations won’t play “Grandma Got Run Over”  this year.

4. Let’s see the Tooth Fairy do this.

Enjoy!

Lonely Tree Speaks Its Mind

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Ever feel lonely like the tree below?

christmas_tree_lake

This is what the tree might say if it could talk.

1.  Hello?  Anybody there?

2. I really do not need to be tied down.  I am not going any where.

3. Seriously?  You put me here for what reason?

4. I would rather be in a warm shopping mall with noisy people.

Enjoy!

If you are feeling lonely, please call someone, anyone.

Romans Lend Me Your … Attention

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Do you ever seek attention and get none?

centurian

Select your favorite caption for this photo.

1.  Darn helmet is too tight.

2. Were we supposed to do the reenactment this Tuesday or next Tuesday?

3. Oh crap.  I forgot about Daylight Savings Time.

4. That shadow better not be Goliath.

Enjoy!

Hank Paulson Caption Contest

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According to Hank Paulson, former Treasury Secretary, who helped save the big banks, there is a big difference between 2007 and now.

hank_paulson

 

Select your favorite caption for this photo.

1.  What inequality gap?  It has only grown by THIS MUCH!  Ha. Ha. Ha.

2. The Federal Reserve has kept interest rates at .025 for THIS LONG and credit card companies are still charging 24%.  Hee. Hee. Hee.

3. Thanks to my HUGE circle of friends, Goldman has 4 of the 5 regional Fed presidents voting in 2017.  Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

4. The big banks have only gotten THIS MUCH BIGGER.  Ya ha ha.

5. My dachshund has grown and is this LONG now.  Ho. Ho. Ho.

Ok.  Maybe this isn’t so funny.

Refugees Refuse to Relinquish Resourcefulness

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You have to see this Lucify graph that illustrates the extent of the refugee situation.

refugees_graph

We are talking about half a million migrants in 2015 alone.

Go to the middle of this MarketWatch.com website. Click on the speed bar and the time bar, then click on the gray rectangle above the graph between these two bars.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-refugee-crisis-captured-in-one-staggering-animated-graphic-2015-10-28?dist=tbeforebell

You will be amazed at the number of people fleeing the Middle East for Europe.

Here is a ground photo of a different kind of hope. A hope for a better life for kids and family somewhere, anywhere.

refugees_collage

Amazing.

Thumping Pumpkin Race

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Who thought thumping (huge) pumpkins could float?

 

pumpkin_regatta

Select your favorite caption for this photo.

1.  My legs!  My legs!

2.  I won because I snacked on the inside.

3.  Do you smell butternut squash soup?

4.  Boy, this swimsuit will never be the same.

5.  Now to go celebrate with a Pumpkin Ale and a piece of Pumpkin Pie!  Not necessarily at the same time.

Enjoy!

Topsy Turvy

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If you think your life is crazy, take a look at this.

topsy_turvy

Okay.  Is this house right side up or upside down?

Is the little blue car a fake or real?

These and other mysteries must be solved immediately.

Enjoy!

 

 

France Fixes Parking Problem

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Parking can be a problem.  How can you get more cars into a limited amount of space?

french_parking

Well, France has a novel approach. Stackable cars.

Why not?  We have stackable washing machines, stackable wine glasses, stackable drawers, and of course stackable furniture.  The next step is obviously stackable cars.

The world has a limitless number of stackable, aka Jenga-like things.

So if you want to find more stackable items, check out this website:

Thanks to Anne-Christine Poujoulat, AFP/Getty Images