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Hilarious E*TRADE Baby Video
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Author Archives: Michael E Kelley
Ted Cruz “I Fought Science” Lyrics
Sung to The Clash’s “I Fought The Law”.
To sing along with the Karaoke version, click this link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIeUsJ1ejfU
Breakin’ bad in the Senate
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess who won
I needed support ’cause I had none
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess who won
We’ve had more CO2 in the past.
Guess my race is run
But when CO2 was high, dinos didn’t last.
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess
Scientists got stuck in Antarctic ice.
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess who won
But Antarctic ice differs from Arctic ice.
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess who won
Scientists said sun rotated around earth.
Guess my race is run
They now use scientific method called proof.
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess who won
I fought science and guess
Adapted from
I Fought The Law performed by The Crickets and by The Clash
Songwriter: SONNY CURTIS
I Fought The Law original lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
To witness the classic version by The Clash, click this link.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR3XY6wfSBw
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Climate Change Contest – Pick Door #1 or Door #2
Arnold Schwarzenegger posted a note on Facebook on Monday.
He made a very good point about climate change and renewable energy: It really doesn’t matter what you believe. Here is what he said.
There are two doors. Behind Door Number One is a completely sealed room, with a regular, gasoline-fueled car. Behind Door Number Two is an identical, completely sealed room, with an electric car. Both engines are running full blast.
I want you to pick a door to open, and enter the room and shut the door behind you. You have to stay in the room you choose for one hour. You cannot turn off the engine. You do not get a gas mask.
I’m guessing you chose the Door Number Two, with the electric car, right? Door number one is a fatal choice – who would ever want to breathe those fumes?
It’s a strong point, but even more importantly, it’s a bipartisan point.
Here is the real deal. You pick a door and we agree to never argue about climate change again. Agreed?
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[Thanks to ThinkProgress.org and to Arnold.]
Santa Can Scuba Dive
The jolly ol’ man is everywhere this time of year.
Select your favorite caption for this photo.
1. Do you ever feel like someone is watching you?
2. I hope these fish like their Bright Eyes pets. They can help them see in the dark.
3. Maybe the radio stations won’t play “Grandma Got Run Over” this year.
4. Let’s see the Tooth Fairy do this.
Enjoy!
Lonely Tree Speaks Its Mind
Ever feel lonely like the tree below?
This is what the tree might say if it could talk.
1. Hello? Anybody there?
2. I really do not need to be tied down. I am not going any where.
3. Seriously? You put me here for what reason?
4. I would rather be in a warm shopping mall with noisy people.
Enjoy!
If you are feeling lonely, please call someone, anyone.
Romans Lend Me Your … Attention
Do you ever seek attention and get none?
Select your favorite caption for this photo.
1. Darn helmet is too tight.
2. Were we supposed to do the reenactment this Tuesday or next Tuesday?
3. Oh crap. I forgot about Daylight Savings Time.
4. That shadow better not be Goliath.
Enjoy!
Hank Paulson Caption Contest
According to Hank Paulson, former Treasury Secretary, who helped save the big banks, there is a big difference between 2007 and now.
Select your favorite caption for this photo.
1. What inequality gap? It has only grown by THIS MUCH! Ha. Ha. Ha.
2. The Federal Reserve has kept interest rates at .025 for THIS LONG and credit card companies are still charging 24%. Hee. Hee. Hee.
3. Thanks to my HUGE circle of friends, Goldman has 4 of the 5 regional Fed presidents voting in 2017. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.
4. The big banks have only gotten THIS MUCH BIGGER. Ya ha ha.
5. My dachshund has grown and is this LONG now. Ho. Ho. Ho.
Ok. Maybe this isn’t so funny.
Refugees Refuse to Relinquish Resourcefulness
You have to see this Lucify graph that illustrates the extent of the refugee situation.
We are talking about half a million migrants in 2015 alone.
Go to the middle of this MarketWatch.com website. Click on the speed bar and the time bar, then click on the gray rectangle above the graph between these two bars.
You will be amazed at the number of people fleeing the Middle East for Europe.
Here is a ground photo of a different kind of hope. A hope for a better life for kids and family somewhere, anywhere.
Amazing.
Thumping Pumpkin Race
Who thought thumping (huge) pumpkins could float?
Select your favorite caption for this photo.
1. My legs! My legs!
2. I won because I snacked on the inside.
3. Do you smell butternut squash soup?
4. Boy, this swimsuit will never be the same.
5. Now to go celebrate with a Pumpkin Ale and a piece of Pumpkin Pie! Not necessarily at the same time.
Enjoy!
Topsy Turvy
If you think your life is crazy, take a look at this.
Okay. Is this house right side up or upside down?
Is the little blue car a fake or real?
These and other mysteries must be solved immediately.
Enjoy!
Michael E Kelley 