Stacy has been making sure she and her husband, Jim, eat healthy. For Jim’s birthday, Stacy decided to take Jim out to dinner for the best steak in town.
Inside the restaurant, Jim and Stacy immediately noticed all the deer and antelope heads mounted on the walls.
When it was the couple’s turn, the hostess asked Stacy where she wanted to sit. She replied, “Somewhere where we won’t be stared at.”
Remember that flight where the kid behind you would never stop crying or kicked your seat?
Well here is an airplane story of a different color.
Tommy was well-behaved during the entire plane flight. His parents kept him quiet with a handheld game player and a soda. Passengers admired Tommy’s behavior.
But when it was time to leave, Tommy started shouting.
“I DON’T WANNA GO. I GET FREE SODA HERE. MY MOMMY MAKES ME DRINK GREEN STUFF AT HOME.”
“If you clean up your Olympic size mess, I will award you with a gold chocolate coin.” Submitted to opinion.usatoday.com.
Here is my caption that I submitted to opinion.usatoday.com.
“For a second there, I thought I saw Congress.”
Here is my caption that I submitted to opinion.usatoday.com.
“I am trying to earn enough to move out by Independence Day or, my Mom says, there will be fireworks.”
Stop me if you have heard this.
A newly hired manager moves into his new office and meets his predecessor on his last day. The predecessor tells the new manager there are three envelopes in the drawer and he is to use one each time a crisis occurs.
Well several months pass before a crisis happens. The manager goes to the drawer and gets the first envelope. He opens it. It says :”Blame the predecessor.” He does that and the crisis passes.
Several more months pass before another crisis happens. The manager again goes to the drawer and gets the second envelope. This time it says :Reorganize”. So he does that and the crisis subsides.
Again several more months pass and a third crisis happens. This time the manager goes to the drawer and knowing this is the last envelope, he hopes it contains the final solution he needs.
He opens the drawer and opens the last envelope. The contents say “Create three envelopes”.
Michael E Kelley 