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About Michael E Kelley

Software geek, speaker, humorist, consultant, writer and futurist.

Leopard Learns Lesson and Laments

You know it will be a bad day when getting a simple drink of water goes wrong.

leopard_stuck.

Enjoy your day!  It has to be better than this!

 

VIX Predicts Pits While Pundits Have Fits

VIX, measuring stock market volatility, last spiked this much in 2007.

vix_predicts_pits_while_pundits_have_fits

Coincidence?  This spike in VIX is predicting a recession (aka the pits) much like it did in 2007.

The result is recession-deniers aka pundits are having fits.  They are saying, “This can’t be happening.”

Meanwhile, believers in the predictability of VIX are saying “It is deja vu all over again. (Thanks to Yogi Berra)

Here are some other signs of a possible recession.

Mergers and Acquisitions Set Scary Record For May

/https://michaelekelley.com/2015/02/20/fed-warns-of-two-bubbles/

Would You Pay 39% More Than The Asking Price?

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-07-27/when-will-we-ever-learn/

Here is how to prepare yourself.

8 Things To Do When Recession Happens

Good luck!

Yogi – Better Than the Average Human Being

Ouch!  That is gonna hurt!

yogi

No I am not talking about the picture.  I am talking about the loss of a great man – Yogi Berra.

In this picture, Berra leaps into the arms of pitcher Don Larsen after Larsen struck out the last Brooklyn Dodgers batter to complete his perfect game in Game 5 of the 1956 World Series.  (Thanks to the Associated Press)

Yogi gave us colloquialisms like “It ain’t over til it’s over.”   But he was more than a wordsmith, he was a soldier, athlete, manager and, more importantly, an honest, caring human being.  He knew he was lucky and felt a desire to share his luck through his philanthropic work.

Unfortunately for Yogi, it’s over.  But for us the memories live on.

For more on this incredible human being, see this website.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/mlb/2015/09/23/yogi-berra-dies-loss-hits-home-the-hill/72711216/

 

 

Never Expected To See Trump and Brilliant In Same Sentence

And I still haven’t seen it.

trump_phd

We are not talking about PhD brilliant.  Just ordinary once in a while surprise brilliant.  It happens.  But not in this case.

Here is a great example. Just the other day somebody posted a website that said Jim Cramer had a brilliant idea.  Now that is a good example of once in a while surprise brilliant.

But for the Donald, it hasn’t happened yet.

Wait a minute.  Hold it…  Come on…..   You can hold it….

Nope, not yet.

Oshkosh By Gosh Gets Cash For Non-Posh Says Josh

Yes, Oshkosh will be providing the new Humvee replacement for the military.

pink_jeep_man

 

Now I dare you to say the title fast three times!

This is a big deal for Oshkosh.  The contract is worth a potential $30 billion.

Over 50,000 of the new non-posh vehicles could be built if the entire contract is exercised.

And you thought they only made baby clothes.

Now you may be wondering who Josh is?  He is a family friend who lives in Colorado.  I am sure he would have said this if I asked him to.

How Strong Are Your Teeth?

Ginger Huber proves Americans have the strongest teeth.

diving_fun_ginger_huber

 

Select your favorite caption for this photo.

1.  I can see my reflection in the dome.

2. What is the world record again?

3. How do I get down from here?

4. Red, white and blue is so appropriate.  Blue dome, white clouds  and the Red Sea.

Enjoy one of America’s premier divers!

Elizabeth Warren will be the next Vice President

Elizabeth says she is not running for President.  But how about Vice President?

elizabeth

Okay.  I will take that as a maybe.

Young voters of the Jon Stewart generation are clamoring for truth in politics.  And they know (cue the Carly Simon music) nobody does it better than Elizabeth.

The “quit screwing the consumer” Congresswoman, has high admiration from all members of generations x, y and z.

Therefore, Elizabeth is the obvious choice for clinching the Democratic primary.

So Bernie or Hillary, which of you will be the first to get her in your camp?

PS The Carly Simon song would make a great tune on the campaign trail.

Koch Brothers Spent Millions To Prove Moon Hoax

The Koch brothers are determined to reduce Government waste including NASA.

koch_nasa

How did they do it?  By spending millions to interview current and former NASA employees and officials.  They sent teams of paid employees to search all of NASA facilities especially the Johnson Space Center where stages were supposedly set up to test space suits and moon equipment.

On the grounds of the Johnson Space Center, two stages were found to house thousands of dollars of video and sound equipment and several scenes like those recorded during moon landings.  They even found a stiff American flag.

A box of video outtakes was found which had very good quality sound and video.  This proves that the quality was intentionally made worse to simulate the long distance the video would have to travel.

Xylophones wrapped in aluminum were found which purportedly were used to provide feedback and muffled sounds to make the recordings seem distant like.  All of this has come to light thanks to the Koch brothers and their vast wealth.  Now the Koch Brothers intend to use it to discredit NASA and eliminate it once and for all.  HOAX indeed.

Udder Madness

Ever have one of those INFORMATION OVERLOAD days?

udder_madness

Select your favorite caption for this photo.

1.  Why do these judges always have cold hands?

2.  Mister, you have 5 seconds before I kick!

3.  Can’t you guys move on to the cow chip throwing contest?

4.  Oh!  Oh!  I feel a chocolate shake coming on.

Enjoy!

Encourage Mint

I wish more mints would speak up.

encourage_mint

The world would be a much better place.

Try to say something nice today.