December Caption Contest – Citigroup Moves

Here is the entry that I submitted to USA Today opinion caption contest.

2014_dec_caption_bipartisan

Enjoy!

Holiday Wish List

1. Find CHOPSTICKS that work.  For food, not flies.

chopsticks

2. Start an internet casting site dedicated to COMEDY films, tv shows and radio programs.  Call it COMEDYCATION.  Get it?  A commingling of the words comedy, communication, and medication.  Because humor is the best medicine.

3. Learn how to JUGGLE.

4. Pass some kind of US CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT to a.) limit and expose campaign financing, b.) limit human rights to humans not corporations, or c.) both.

5. Invent GUM that won’t stick to desks.

6. Start the AMERICAN MAJORITY PARTY that votes based on the results of at least 2 national polls.

7. Go BUNGEE JUMPING off a bridge over water.

Maybe next year.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

 

Zombie Dogs

Have you seen these dogs?

zombiedogs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I can tell these are Zombie Dogs because:

1. Their eyes are glazed over

2. Dogs can’t drive and

3. Their cancelled visas.

Let me know if you see them.

Republicans Consider Unfriending Obama on Facebook

What is the social networking world coming to?

boehner_thumbs_up

[The following is reprinted from The Washington Post as written by Dana Milbank.]

Among the many ways Republican members of Congress are contemplating to punish President Obama for his executive actions on immigration is a proposal of elegant simplicity: They would refuse to invite him to the Capitol to give his State of the Union address.

Yes, that should do the job. And if this doesn’t force Obama to back down from his executive orders, Republican lawmakers can escalate by unfriending him on Facebook and unfollowing him on Twitter. If even this fails, they can take the extreme step of having their Christmas cards from the Obamas returned to sender. Surely, the president then would have no choice but to relent.

For the complete editorial, visit this website.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/dana-milbank-the-gops-symbolic-fight-against-immigration-action/2014/12/02/a0a5d816-7a5b-11e4-9a27-6fdbc612bff8_story.html

 

Who’s Been Messin’ With My Workstation?

We all love our workstations.  Even if our employer bought them and put a label on them.  We would hate to have someone move or change it.  Here is one such story.

post-it-notes

Upon visiting a customer site to perform a software upgrade, the three of us engineers couldn’t help but notice the Post-it notes all over the edge of the console.  There was so many notes that there was little room for one more.

The main operator’s name was Mike just like mine.  He was a really big guy like a former football player who had retired from the game and put on a few pounds.

When Mike went to lunch, one of our engineers decided to put one more Post-it note on his workstation. He wrote “Call your mother” on one and stuck it near the center top rim amongst the many others.  We all wondered if Mike would notice the new note with so many others covering the edge.

When Mike came back from lunch, a mere 5 minutes went by when Mike asked in a deep angry voice, “Who’s been messin’ with my workstation?”

The three of us engineers cracked up and laughed hysterically.  When we finally calmed down, the engineer that put the last Post-it-note on the workstation confessed.

Mike too had calmed down and understood it was a simple joke.

But this simple joke could have gone seriously wrong.  What if Mike’s mother had passed away?  Then the joke would have been a tragic reminder of a missed loved one.

So the moral of this story is always watch what you say. Anything you say may come back to haunt you.

Ebola Humor – If Possible

Here is my latest USA Today Caption Contest entry.

2014_nov_caption

Thanks to Mike Smith, Las Vegas Sun, King Features.

Oh yeah, and to Ebola and to Hazmat suits.

Loch Ness Monster Seen Vacationing in US

On my plane flight back from Georgia I snapped this photo.

loch_ness

It’s the Loch Ness Monster vacationing on the Mississippi River!

Sorry about the fuzzy photo.  I was understandably excited.  Wouldn’t you be?

How about that sunset?

Enjoy!

Google Gadget Goes Gilligan

I have entered the USA Today Caption Contest many times but forgot to post my June one.

google_car

Sound familiar?  The words follow the Gilligan’s Island theme song.

Thanks to Mike Smith, Las Vegas Sun, King Features for the artwork.

Enjoy!

Human Wheel Desk for Ultimate Multitaskers

They say what goes around, comes around.

human_wheel_desk

Now you too can simultaneously work out and work in your home office.

Ultimate multitaskers can finally burn those calories and burn the midnight oil.

While we are on the subject of humans, take a look at this blog.

https://michaelekelley.com/2014/09/19/why-humans-are-more-important-than-workplaces/

Thanks

Naming Hurricanes After Climate Deniers

Over 3 million have viewed this video.

climate_name_chg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efAUCG9oTb8

For more information go to

ClimateNameChange.org