Scientists Discover Sound Made By Atom – Duh

That’s right.  You heard it first right here on this website.

atom_sound

We are constantly aiming to bring you fresh red-hot news right here..

As our Valley Girlfriends would say, “Duh.  Everything makes a noise.  Especially if you bump into someone or something.”

So scientists using the latest technology have discovered the sound atoms make.  It is “D” as in doe, a deer, a female deer.

doe

For more information, about the atom sound not the doe, visit the following website:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/12/sound-atom-captured_n_5810124.html

Thanks

All You Can Eat Buffett – As In Warren Buffett

Let’s don’t all get big heads now!

buffett

Okay.  I love blowups of heads as much as anybody.  Like the recent “The Voice” episode featuring the finals where the country western singer, Jake Worthington,  has his hometown rooting for him.  With blowups of his head.

team_jake

Anyways back to Warren Buffett.  Here is a website that proves that you can earn more money and eat better than Warren.

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/beat-warren-buffett-at-his-own-game-2014-05-14?link=MW_retirement_popular

Good luck with your investments.

Caption Contest – Taxes – April

Here is my entry to the USA Today Caption Contest featuring art work by Mike Smith.

caption_contest_201404_mk

Yes, I know it is about time that I added a humorous post.

For more death related humor look at these posts or click the Humor tab.

https://michaelekelley.com/2013/02/01/cheating-death-by-procrastination/

https://michaelekelley.com/2013/06/24/twinkies-are-the-ultimate-zombie/

Enjoy!

October Caption Contest

Here is my entry to the USA Today Opinion Caption Contest for October 2013.

2013_oct_caption

If you like this, more captions can be found at

https://www.facebook.com/usatodayopinion .

Thanks.

When Kids Ask What GOP Stands For

I tell them it means “Government Obstructionist Party”.

GOP

They shutdown the government rather than pass a budget and raise the debt ceiling.

Consequently the economy lost $24 billion dollars for the quarter.

And the Congressional members did not lose a dime of income during this shutdown.

Here is a list of names of the 144 obstructionists that voted NO on the House of Representatives bill that raised the debt ceiling.  All of them are members of the GOP.

http://politics.nytimes.com/congress/votes/113/house/1/550

Here is a quote to think about.  “The extreme right has 90 seats in the House,” Mr. Echevarria, CEO of Deloitte, said. “Occupy Wall Street has no seats.”

Please make a note of these for the 2014 election so we can even the score.

When Are Fortune Cookies Faulty?

I got a fortune cookie the other day with an expiration date.

Fortune cookies

Fortune cookies

No not the cookie.

I mean the fortune.

Well sort of.

 

The fortune

said the following:

THE SKY’S THE LIMIT – THIS MONTH

Well the kicker is I got the cookie on the 15th.  So I really only have 16 days to cash it in.

Now what should I do, buy or risk?  Hmmmmmm …  to be continued.

Boehner Offers Peace Pipe

Shoot!  That isn’t a peace pipe.   Now we will have to start negotiating all over again.

boehner_peace_pipe

 

So much for diplomacy.  Must be time for Obama to step up to the plate.

 

Zombies in Congress

I recently came to the realization that our US Congress is as effective as a group of zombies.  Then a thought hit me like a bolt of lighting on a normally clear day with zombies all around.  Some of the Congressional members MUST BE ZOMBIES!

Could one or all of the following Congressmen be zombies?  Each said something similar to this, “Failure to raise the debt ceiling is NOT a problem.”   Only a brainless shell of a human being would say such a thing.

Here are some special radial isotope photos that show these Congressmen have no hearts!

zombie_congressmen

Even John Boehner is worried.

boehner_sleepy2

So everyone needs to be careful out there and question what any Congressional member says.  Any one of them could be a zombie that grunts mindless chatter.

Trucks To Tighten Beltway

Truckers are very upset over Congress.   Consequently, they are threatening to jam the DC Interstate 495 aka the DC beltway this weekend.  They are calling it “Truckers Ride for the Constitution”.

trucks

Truckers are upset over things like arming al Qaeda linked Syrian rebels.  Earl Conlon, an organizer of the event, told US News, “We’re not asking for impeachment, we’re asking for the arrest of everyone in government who has violated their oath of office.”

Earl was unavailable to comment on whether that included Republicans demanding repeal of Obamacare for the 42nd time.

Unfortunately members of Congress will miss the festivities because they are holed up in their exclusive gyms while thinking about the Federal shutdown.

gym

Congressional members are using the gym to sleep and take showers but must use the same towels.  That is because the laundry service is unavailable due to the Federal shutdown. That is almost as bad as not being able to get food stamps.

Someone commented that Congress is starting to smell like a post Halloween jack-o-lantern.

jack-o-lantern-bad

Maybe the smell will thaw out our frozen government.

Zombie Homes

RealtyTrac has just released data saying there are 770,000 zombie homes across the US.  That is a lot of zombies!  We have a bigger problem than I thought.  How do we get rid of all these zombies?

zombie_home

Above is a typical zombie home.  There could be one in your neighborhood!

Wait!  I have just been told by my significant other that  a zombie house is a foreclosed house.

Never mind.  zombie